I Had Everything I Was Supposed to Want and Still Fell Apart

Eighteen months ago, I had what I now know was a full neurodiverse meltdown. At the time, I just thought I'd failed at being a functioning human.

I was a mum to two small, brilliant girls. I had a house, a husband, a degree, a job, friends, and a busy social life. I'd ticked every box that was meant to add up to "happy." Yet I was exhausted, lost, and quietly breaking.

Most days, I felt a mix of sadness, numbness, and self-fury for not being grateful enough.

It didn't make sense. I'd done everything right, so why did it all feel empty?

When I finally hit the wall, it wasn't pretty. I told a friend. Then my mum. I got help, changed my medication, and stopped trying to hold it all together for a while. I rested. I focused on just functioning, eating, sleeping, breathing and being with my girls.

That pause saved my life.

Since then, I've undergone many sessions of therapy, which have truly transformed the way I communicate with myself. I've built my own business and learned to live with, not fight against, my brain (or Brian as I often misspell the word). I've been diagnosed with ADHD, and dyslexia has been a journey, and while I still struggle, I feel calmer, more self-aware, and accept how my mind works with greater kindness.

Being medicated and giving myself breathing space has been life-changing. The biggest shift has been realising I haven't always found life difficult because I'm lazy or broken. I've found it difficult because I'm different. And that difference deserves understanding, not punishment.

This month, ADHD Awareness Month and World Mental Health Day feel personal. It's a reminder of how many of us are walking around masked, tired, and afraid to say we're not okay. You can be high-functioning and still struggle. You can love your life and still want to escape it sometimes.

You can be doing well and still find it hard.

That's why I created The Calm Back Method: a way to come back to yourself when the noise gets too loud. It's not about hustle or fixing everything. It's about clearing space, aligning your energy, lightening the load, and making calm a daily habit, not a luxury.

I'm still a work in progress. I probably always will be. But that's okay.

If you're reading this and you're struggling, please reach out. Call Samaritans (116 123 in the UK). Text a friend. Send a message, even if it just says, "I'm not okay." You're not a burden. You're human.

Most people hold you in far higher regard than you give them credit for.

You're not broken. You're unique.

Embrace who you are; the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself.